Funny Halloween Puns about Witches, Pumpkins, Candy, Skeletons & More

The greatest holiday in October is Halloween, so now is the perfect time to plan a fantastic costume, decorate your porch, and flavor everything with pumpkin spice. 

But Halloween doesn't have to be all doom and terror. Taking a lighter approach, we've collected clever and funny Halloween puns and jokes that will make you giggle uncontrollably!

Halloween puns funny

Halloween Puns

• My costume is eerie-sistible.

• Creep it real.

• I am the Pun-kin King of Halloween!

• I’ve got every trick or treat in the book!

• Trick or treat yo' self.

• Bow down to your Hallow-queen.

• Is it even Halloween if you didn't get tricked at least once?

• I couldn't scare less about your costume.

• A cutie that's a little spooky.

• Time to get this party startled!

• Oh my gourdness, it's finally Halloween!

• Fright for the right to party!

• Don’t be a jerk-o-lantern this Halloween — share your candy!

• Eat, drink, and be scary.

• You need a spoo-key to enter this haunted house.

Halloween funny puns

• All the ghosts looked boo-tiful this Halloween.

• This Halloween is going to be absolutely fang-tastic!

• Eat, drink, trick.

• Go big or gourd home!

• This Halloween pumpkin really stuck a gourd with me.

• Pumpkin' out Halloween puns like it’s nobody’s business.

• Lookin' gourd-geous!

• Halloween is the one time I'll ask you to come as your aren't.

• I’ve been so bored these past few weeks, so this Halloween is really a breath of fresh scare.

• Frankly, I don't think I'm that scary.

• Fangs for the memories.

• My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin. I told him I'd gourd it with my life!

• The zombie thinks this is the best thing since sliced head.

• Howl you doin'?

• Lift your spirits!

• Looking for a bunny costume because it's hoppy hour.

Halloween jokes and puns

Halloween Witch Puns

• Witch way to the pumpkin patch?

• Witching you a Happy Halloween.

• Witch upon a star.

• Keep calm and carry a wand.

• You've got me under your spell.

• Wicked awesome.

• Witch better have my candy.

• Halloween's not the same if I can't be witch you.

• What did Dracula say when the witch and the warlock started kissing?" "Get a broom!

• Here I am, warts and all.

• Grab your broomstick so we can make a clean getaway.

• Resting witch face.

Funny puns for Halloween

• Witcha up to?

• I just took a DNA test, turns out I'm 100% that witch.

• It's a brew-tiful day for eating tons of candy.

• You say witch like it's a bad thing.

• Grab your broomstick so we can make a clean getaway.

• Can't always get what you wand.

• Witch and famous.

Halloween Ghost & Monster Puns

• What's the best place to hide from ghosts? The living room.

• Love at first bite.

• Ghostest with the mostest.

• I didn’t want to play it safe with a skeleton costume, I want people to know I have guts.

• Looking fa-boo-lous.

• Why did the ghost cross the road? Because it was a poultry-geist.

• You're just my (blood) type.

• Have an eek-tastic Halloween!

• Romeo and Ghouliet.

• Let’s have some skele-fun!

• If you’ve got it, haunt it.

Halloween ghost puns

• You're my best ghoul-friend.

• You’ve ghost to be kidding me!

• What's a ghost's favorite dessert? I-scream.

• Ghosts love elevators because it lifts their spirits.

• Where do ghosts go shopping? A boo-tique!

Halloween Pumpkin Puns

• Slipped on a pumpkin today. It caught me off gourd.

• Who else is pumped for Halloween?

• Give 'em pumpkin to talk about.

• I think it's clear that I love pumpkin spice a latte.

• My favorite movie is Gourd of the Rings.

• You are the pick of the patch!

Pumpkin Halloween puns words

• What's a math teacher's favorite Halloween treat? Pumpkin pi.

• My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin. I told him I'd gourd it with my life!

• It's easy to repair a broken jack-o'-lantern: Just use a pumpkin patch!

• I don't trust pumpkins. They're seedy.

• Let's pumpkin spice things up.

• The Pun-kin King of Halloween!

• I only have pumpkin pies for you.

• This Halloween pumpkin really stuck a gourd with me.

• Pumpkin spice and everything nice.

• Don't forget to carve out some time for pumpkin decorating!

• Aren't these pumpkins gourd-geous?

Halloween puns jokes

Halloween Vampire Puns

• I'm looking for my necks victim.

• Join my fang club!

• Sucks to be me.

• The vampire and his wife were love at first bite.

• You can Count on me.

• I know some vampire puns, but they all suck.

• So long, sucker.

• You make me batty.

• A vampire's favorite fruit is a blood orange.

• Vampires hate peaches, but they love neck-tarines.

• I have an account at the blood bank.

• Getting kissed by a vampire is a pain in the neck.

Vampire puns for Halloween

Halloween Candy Puns

• What desserts do ghosts love? "I scream!"

• Halloween puns are so (candy) corny!

• Goblin up candy all night.

• I did some exorcise to prepare for all this candy.

• I can't Reese-ist a good Halloween pun.

• Who is responsible for the candy corn? "The kernel."

• No matter how much Halloween candy you eat, it always seems to go to waist.

• Halloween night Pop Rocks my world.

• I won't sugarcoat it: Give me candy.

• What kind of candy gets straight As? "Smarties."

Candy Halloween puns

• Twix or treat!

• A cat's favorite candy is a Kit Kat.

• Your costume is so realistic, it's un-candy!

• No candy for me. I'm trying to keep my ghoulish figure.

• Here's to a Halloween full of Snickers and (Almond) Joy.

• Halloween candy is yummy and all, but don’t forget to save room for “I scream.

• No matter what costumes they wear, when the Halloween candy comes out, everyone is a goblin!

• Don't go goblin up all my candy!

• Witch better have my candy.

• Starbursting to eat all this candy.

Halloween puns candy

• Hope your Halloween is full of Snickers and (Almond) Joy!

• Enjoy goblin up all your Halloween candy — just don't let it go to waist!

• This will definitely come in candy.

Halloween Skeleton Puns

• Spine on the dotted line.

• Bugs and hisses.

• I'd tell you a joke, but you might not find it very humerus.

• Most skeletons are funny because they know how to tickle your funny bone.

• I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn't find it very humerus.

• Bone-jour.

• Do you play the trom-bone?

• This is a hip joint.

Halloween puns skeleton

• Where does a skeleton go for a fun night?" "Anywhere, as long as it's a hip joint.

• Laughing 'til I'm coffin.

• Bone appetit!

• I'm bad to the bone.

• Halloween is going to be great—I can feel it in my bones!

• Why was the skeleton sad? He had no body to trick-or-treat with.

• No body won the skeleton race.