50+ Best Halloween Jokes & Riddles to Make You Laugh Aloud

With this compilation of the best Halloween jokes, you're sure to have some fun, even if you only think of the event as a pit stop before Thanksgiving and Christmas.

They are suitable for both children and adults and are inspired by a variety of themes, including magic, sweets, ghosts, costumes, ghouls, and monsters.

Check them out right now!

Halloween best jokes

Table of contents

Best Halloween Jokes For Adults

Best Halloween Jokes For Kids

Best Halloween Dad Jokes

Best Halloween Jokes For Adults

What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
What do you call a cheesy Halloween dance? The muenster mash!
Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.
Why do witches fly on broomsticks? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
Why are all mummies workaholics? They're afraid to unwind!
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day.
What’s a vampire’s favorite kind of dog? A bloodhound.
How can you spot a wealthy vampire? It has blue blood.
How do mummies tell their future? They read their horror-scope.

Best jokes Halloween

Best jokes Halloween

What do you call a little monsters parents? Mummy and Deady.
What is a Skeleton’s favorite song? Bad to the Bone.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
What’s a witches’ pick-up line? Hey, you’ve got hex appeal!
Why did the ghost cross the road? He wanted to return from the other side.
What Halloween candy is never on time for the party? Choco-LATE!
Why do vampires need mouthwash? They have bat breath.
What do birds give out on Halloween night? Tweets.
What do you call a ghost on the ceiling? High-spirited.
Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
How does a witch tell time? She looks at her witch watch.
What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships.
What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters? Booberries!

Best adult Halloween jokes

Best adult Halloween jokes

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Best Halloween Jokes For Kids

What is a ghost’s favorite dessert? Ice Scream.
Why couldn’t the ghost see his mom and dad? Because they were trans-parent.
Where does a witch park her vehicle? In the broom closet.
What’s a ghost’s favorite game to play on the playground? Hide and Shriek.
What happened to the zombie who ran in the race? It came in dead last.
Who do monsters buy their cookies from? Ghoul scouts.
Why did the monster's team lose the baseball game? Their bats flew away.
Why couldn't the witch make a speech? There was a frog in her throat.
Which key opens a haunted house? A spook-key!

Best Halloween joke ever for kids

Best Halloween joke ever for kids

Where did the witch have to go when she misbehaved? She had to go to her broom.
Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to The Body Shop.
What does the witch ask her sisters the day after Halloween? Witch one of you has my candy
Why did the cyclops stop teaching? Because he only had one pupil.

Best Halloween Dad Jokes

What do you say when you're having dinner with a skeleton? Bone-appetit!
What do female ghosts use to do their makeup? Vanishing Cream!
How did Dracula learn to be a vampire? He took a crash corpse.
What do you call a moon out of orbit? A lunatic!
What is zombie Shakespeare's favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet!
Why do ghosts make the best cheerleaders? Because they have spirit.

Best dad Halloween jokes

Best dad Halloween jokes

Who did Dracula take to the school dance? His ghoul friend!
What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging? You never know which witch is which!
What is a ghost’s favorite meal? Spook-ghetti.
What is a witch’s favorite class? Spelling!
The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it? A coffin.
Why won’t monsters eat ghosts? Because they always taste like sheet.
How do monsters like their eggs? Terror-fried.
Why didn’t the coffee bean go to the Halloween party? Because it was grounded.
What do skeletons learn about in history class? Napoleon Bone-a-part!

Best dad jokes Halloween

Best dad jokes Halloween

How do you get inside a locked cemetery at night? Use a Skeleton Key to unlock the gates!
What did the happy pumpkin say? Life is gourd!
Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift? Because she had bad blood.
What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin

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